Archive for the ‘Puns–Art and Entertainment’ Category

Music Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The musician played the piano softly.  The pianist with too much time became keyboard.
  2. Singing in the church choir is a lofty ambition.  (Do my jokes need better direction?)
  3. The musically inclined fish visited the choral reef.
  4. Is church music on a rogation Sunday organ-ic?  Should I have piped up?
  5. The group of musically inclined wood workers called itself the Carpenters.  (They were on top of the world.)
  6. I am partial to choral music.   You may ask, “On what basses?”  I do not like the tenor of such a conversation.  But, whatever, you do, refrain from calling the Sopranos or going to Palo Alto.
  7. Singing more softly or loudly makes a song dynamic.
  8. The instrumentalist had bass boards in his home.  (Is this joke so bad that it is almost as low as I can go?  Does it register?)
  9. Anthems are an acquired taste.  Does this joke strike a chord with you?  Was it noteworthy?
  10. If a window were to sing to me, it would be Beverly Sills.
  11. A semi-aquatic marine mammal that plays an instrument is a harp seal.
  12. The grocer must be a good musician, for he is never out of tuna.

Composer Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The space aliens who met Richard Strauss said, “Take me to your lieder.”
  2. Georges was not too Bizet to compose music.
  3. Music is Lisztless without Franz.
  4. A composer opens a small door with a minor key.
  5. The composer, who attended frequent staff meetings, took a measured approach to writing music.  I hope he was never in much treble.  If so, this would have been a major concern for him, for he might have been unduly notorious.
  6. Don’t be notorious.  Compose yourself and perform in the correct key.  This is a major issue, off the scale.
  7. I suppose that Beethoven wrote some drafts of compositions in notebooks.
  8. When Johann Sebastian attended a party, was it a Bachanalia?  Am I wining too much?  Is this a grape joke or not?
  9. Puns about Johann Sebastian Bach must Germanate.

Microbiology Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Does one amoeba speak to another amoeba via cellular phone?
  2. The microbiologist who read Shakespearean plays was cultured.

Theater Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Hamlet daned to speak to Ophelia.
  2. Lady Macbeth did not get away Scot free.
  3. Am I bard from telling bad puns about William Shakespeare and his characters?
  4. The dirty playwright had to clean up his act.

Cheese Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Lily liked muenster cheese.
  2. I find puns about cheese grating.

Novel Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Dashiell had difficulty not trying to Hammett up.
  2. The Communist novelist was well read.
  3. A new work of fiction is a novel idea.
  4. Did Theodore Dreiser let music Carrie him away?
  5. If Jane were a spy, would she be Austen Powers?

Medicine and Plants Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I would pun about trees but that would require me to branch out or go out on a limb.  So I will leaf that option alone, and not fall for it.
  2. Vegetables will inevitably turnip.  I mustard the courage to publish this post.
  3. The evasive lawn care worker beat around the bush.
  4. If there were a disco song about flowers, it would be Stamen Alive.  I must be a pistil for sharing that pun.
  5. A Christmas tree can spruce up one’s home.
  6. Should I liken a lichen to algae?
  7. People are wise to distinguish among varieties of sage plants.
  8. Jokes about eyes are cornea than other humorous statements.
  9. One bee accused another bee of using flowery language.
  10. Pulling up weeds is a garden-variety task.
  11. I was trying to extol the virtues of a soothing and fragrant ointment, but somebody interrupted me, saying, “Don’t rub it in.”
  12. I pine for cones.
  13. The happy gardener said, “Hosanna!”
  14. One who functions as a sentry of different plants is guardin’ variety.
  15. The florist who drove quickly put the petal to the metal.  He did not stamen put.

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This is post #2020 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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Arts and Entertainment Puns   2 comments

  1. A drama critic wrote of a production of Pinocchio.  The lead actor, he insisted, gave a wooden performance.
  2. A historian’s hobby is a pastime.
  3. Those who observe others doing nothing are Wait Watchers.
  4. The joke about pugilists had a great punchline and was a big hit.
  5. Does erecting a barrier composed of epees constitute fencing?
  6. With the time of the juggling class set, the schedule was not up in the air.
  7. The person who designed a particular slide was very clever.  Of course, he played around with several designs first.
  8. When the avart-garde artist said, “Happy Father’s Day,” did he speak to his Dada?
  9. The manly carpet maker was rugged.
  10. One may learn an artifact at a museum.
  11. I would not liken Jan to any other artist.
  12. If I analyze a golfer’s swing, do I critique it?
  13. The popular artist had great drawing power.
  14. Signing yearbooks is an annual ritual.
  15. “I can barely contain my enthusiasm,” Teddy said.
  16. Did the pole vaulter who assumed too much jump to conclusions?

Chores and Tools Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Ironing is a pressing matter.
  2. Are a plumber’s fantasies pipe dreams?  Is the quality of my jokes plunging?
  3. The fence post installer felt holier-than-thou.
  4. I became upset over the poor performance of the air conditioning system, so I vented.
  5. The fence builder kept me posted.
  6. People familiar with power tools know the drill.
  7. The yard worker who gambled too much had rakish ways.
  8. A self-evident saying about a chopping tool is an axiom.
  9. The accomplished fence builder was a postmaster.
  10. If one drops a saucer into dishwater, does displacement occur?
  11. I wood say that the carpenter nailed it.  (Brace yourselves; I never grow board of these puns!)  Should I frame the issue differently?
  12. The impending weaving work was looming.
  13. Would an early repair be a prefix?
  14. “When the substance that holds tiles together begins to smell like cabbage,” Reuben said, “one has sour grout.”

Movie and Television Puns   2 comments

  1. An excellent public television science program is a supernova.
  2. Joe Friday’s tech tip:  “Just the fax, ma’am.”
  3. An Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins movie about food is The Romaines of the Day.  Lettuce watch it.
  4. The emotional movie involving a maple tree was too sappy.
  5. Did Mr. Brynner burn yule logs?
  6. Did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer have a bulbous nose?  (It received glowing reviews.)
  7. The poorly-made movie about dairy products was very cheesy.
  8. The incompetent Smurf blue it.
  9. Groucho was a great Marxman.
  10. Films with certain dairy products in them are scary, for they are muenster movies.
  11. As I walked past Ponderosa Drive in Athens, Georgia, I wondered if some treasure might be near.  If so, it would be quite a Bonanza.  But I should be cautious; I ought not to put my Cartwright before the horse.
  12. The monster ate too many fright foods.
  13. If the Three Stooges had been bees, they would have been Larva, Curly, and Moe.
  14. I was a Hunter for candy bars, so I chose a Whatchamallit.
  15. What was Dean Martin’s favorite kind of meat?  A roast!