Archive for the ‘Puns–Geography’ Category

Music Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The musician played the piano softly.  The pianist with too much time became keyboard.
  2. Singing in the church choir is a lofty ambition.  (Do my jokes need better direction?)
  3. The musically inclined fish visited the choral reef.
  4. Is church music on a rogation Sunday organ-ic?  Should I have piped up?
  5. The group of musically inclined wood workers called itself the Carpenters.  (They were on top of the world.)
  6. I am partial to choral music.   You may ask, “On what basses?”  I do not like the tenor of such a conversation.  But, whatever, you do, refrain from calling the Sopranos or going to Palo Alto.
  7. Singing more softly or loudly makes a song dynamic.
  8. The instrumentalist had bass boards in his home.  (Is this joke so bad that it is almost as low as I can go?  Does it register?)
  9. Anthems are an acquired taste.  Does this joke strike a chord with you?  Was it noteworthy?
  10. If a window were to sing to me, it would be Beverly Sills.
  11. A semi-aquatic marine mammal that plays an instrument is a harp seal.
  12. The grocer must be a good musician, for he is never out of tuna.

Food Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I paid for my meal at a restaurant in Amsterdam.  I went Dutch.
  2. A C.P.A. reviewed restaurants on the side.  He panned the cuisine at one establishment, writing, “There’s no accounting for taste.”
  3. The food critic panned the chef’s cooking, saying that it had gone to pot.  The chef, who could not handle this criticism, boiled over with rage.
  4. Do Dutch-born Canadians use hollandaise sauce?
  5. Russian food out of a can is Chef Boyardee.
  6. You have great skillet cooking.
  7. St. Polycarp had many fish.
  8. Rare meat is hard to find.  (I hope that you, O reader, will compliment me on this pun by saying, “Well done,” in one medium or another.)
  9. Whenever I Taiwan to eat Turkey Chile, I use my China.  Fortunately, there is little Greece and I do not have to go Dutch.
  10. The ill condiment went to the mayo clinic.
  11. Does eating a doughnut make one holier?
  12. Olive to tell jokes about pizza toppings.
  13. The theatrical chef engaged in roll playing.
  14. The chef made a stirring speech.
  15. Do Freemasons preserve food in jars?
  16. Did the farmer eat a Reuben Sandwich? And did he have a beef with his meal?
  17. Are you cool to joke about refrigerators and freezers?
  18. The egocentric literary oyster was shellfish.  (Is this joke a pearl of wisdom or just an irritant?)
  19. Is a diner in Athens a greasy spoon?
  20. The food thief pulled off a caper.

Vegetables Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The vegetarian pursuer was a stalker.
  2. Here is a bilingual pun, one dependent upon knowledge of the French term for “green beans”:  Green beans are my favorite vegetable; this is very true.  If I am fortunate that this fact has never led to a hairy situation.
  3. Is an Eastern European who likes lettuce a Romanian?
  4. Is an immature carrot a carotene?
  5. One cannot go far afield stalking corn.  Oh, dear reader, please give ear to this pun.  Go ahead, the joke is not that bad.
  6. Can you asparagus a dime?
  7. Happy New Ear!  Is this joke too corny?  Does telling it too many times give one a husky voice?

Geography Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Are Uganda Belize it?  Taiwan Macao Togo to Czech out a Réunion.  I would never Dane to tell you I’m Ghana stop Jamaican these jokes, that I’m Finnished telling these Laosy puns.  There’s Norway I would ever stoop Oslo as to do that.  Perhaps Taipei for my jokes, though.  Formosa my life, I’ve told puns.  Some people have been Swede enough to enjoy them.
  2. The farmer who wandered around his farm went far afield.
  3. The lake without a walkway was pierless.
  4. I will get around to studying a globe.
  5. The young man found his sense of direction when he became a cartographer.  He found that his future was mapped out for him.
  6. To move about, but not forward or backward, is to sidewalk.

African Geography Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The newborn South African had a Natal day.
  2. Deceased and disgruntled South Africans of Dutch ancestry are Boers.

Posted June 2, 2020 by neatnik2009 in Puns--Geography, Puns--History

Tagged with , , , ,

European Geography Puns   Leave a comment

  1. An Eastern European who carries his nation’s banner is a flag Pole.
  2. In Kiev Ukraine your neck.
  3. A postal employee in Prague fell among packages.  The Czech was in the mail.
  4. If one uses up one’s photo card in Helsinki, is this situation a photo finish?
  5. A messy Eastern European is slovenly.
  6. The practical person (not a Bohemian, artistic type) was Praguematic.  Czech out my jokes, which are Central to my European-themed witticisms.
  7. Italy is a great nation to boot.  (Am I a heel for saying this?)
  8. The two Scandinavian lovers were Swede hearts.  I would tell a similar joke about Norwegians, but that is Oslo as I will go.  And I will not Dane to say anything about lovers in Copenhagen.  I am Finnished now.
  9. I am done speaking Finnish.  Do you Lapp up these jokes?
  10. How best to use a candle in Switzerland is a burning question.
  11. What does an upset married German woman do?  She frauns.  Is this madame worst joke ever?
  12. The Scottish person felt Pict on.

Architecture and Building Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Jokes about ceilings always go over my head.
  2. The electrician who was also a physicist experimented with fusion.
  3. The Minoan criminal was a concrete.
  4. Frank Lloyd set things Wright.
  5. More people were becoming fascinated by the construction project at the bank.  Interest was building.
  6. The tourist got an eyeful in Paris.
  7. Moving from a single-story house to a two-story house is a real step up.  (I could just stare at the steps.)
  8. Breaking windows can be painful.
  9. I shudder to think about windows.
  10. Did young Abraham find playing with Lincoln Logs to be a useful way of coping with cabin fever?
  11. Do people who write puns about noses have good old factory senses?

Pets and Wildlife Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The pig farmer was so impoverished that he could not purchase good signage; he could, however, afford a porcine.
  2. A nun’s pet is a creature of habit.
  3. The deceptive frog was an amfibian.  And it was nobody’s toady.  Should I ponder more jokes?
  4. Happy Gnu Year!
  5. A balding bee uses a combover.
  6. I gopher puns.
  7. The British rabbit was very hoppy.
  8. Do dogs visit retail outlets?  Did some wag think of this pun?
  9. When one buys a rabbit from a pet store, does one get a warranty?
  10. Is an Italian marine mammal on a bulwark a walrus from Tuscany?
  11. I could keep fawning over you, my deer, if I doe say so myself.  And, with you by my side, I will never have to go stag again.
  12. The false charges against the aquatic mammal were otterly preposterous.
  13. I do not know atoll what to think about coral islands.
  14. If a bear is on a large obstacle, is that obstacle by definition a barricade?
  15. If one annoys an arachnid, does one have a cross tick?
  16. Is a Portuguese bovine in China Macao?  I wonder how much I can milk this thought before I begin to tell udderly bad jokes.  Is this joke dairy good or dairy bad?  Does it moove you?

Literature and Fiction Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Edgar Allan liked the poboy sandwiches from the New Delhi.
  2. Is an accountant who writes for a newspaper a columnist?
  3. Many poems about love and marriage include couplets.
  4. A plot to pronounce or write words that sound alike is a rhyming scheme.
  5. The misuse of punctuation marks is a common mistake.
  6. The author of turgid prose who avoided all grapes had neither rhyme nor raisins.
  7. The removal of part of a man’s intestines left him with a semicolon.
  8. The person from the county Serif’s Department was a font of wisdom.  This is just my favorite type of joke.  I wonder if more people will like it, given the write sales pitch.
  9. The anxious grammarian was quite tense.  Perhaps this joke is imperfect, but my best puns lie in the future, not the past.  This statement is not conditional.
  10. Santa Claus arrived in the nick of time.

Theater Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Hamlet daned to speak to Ophelia.
  2. Lady Macbeth did not get away Scot free.
  3. Am I bard from telling bad puns about William Shakespeare and his characters?
  4. The dirty playwright had to clean up his act.