Archive for the ‘Puns–Food/Liquids/Containers’ Category

Composer Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The space aliens who met Richard Strauss said, “Take me to your lieder.”
  2. Georges was not too Bizet to compose music.
  3. Music is Lisztless without Franz.
  4. A composer opens a small door with a minor key.
  5. The composer, who attended frequent staff meetings, took a measured approach to writing music.  I hope he was never in much treble.  If so, this would have been a major concern for him, for he might have been unduly notorious.
  6. Don’t be notorious.  Compose yourself and perform in the correct key.  This is a major issue, off the scale.
  7. I suppose that Beethoven wrote some drafts of compositions in notebooks.
  8. When Johann Sebastian attended a party, was it a Bachanalia?  Am I wining too much?  Is this a grape joke or not?
  9. Puns about Johann Sebastian Bach must Germanate.

Food Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I paid for my meal at a restaurant in Amsterdam.  I went Dutch.
  2. A C.P.A. reviewed restaurants on the side.  He panned the cuisine at one establishment, writing, “There’s no accounting for taste.”
  3. The food critic panned the chef’s cooking, saying that it had gone to pot.  The chef, who could not handle this criticism, boiled over with rage.
  4. Do Dutch-born Canadians use hollandaise sauce?
  5. Russian food out of a can is Chef Boyardee.
  6. You have great skillet cooking.
  7. St. Polycarp had many fish.
  8. Rare meat is hard to find.  (I hope that you, O reader, will compliment me on this pun by saying, “Well done,” in one medium or another.)
  9. Whenever I Taiwan to eat Turkey Chile, I use my China.  Fortunately, there is little Greece and I do not have to go Dutch.
  10. The ill condiment went to the mayo clinic.
  11. Does eating a doughnut make one holier?
  12. Olive to tell jokes about pizza toppings.
  13. The theatrical chef engaged in roll playing.
  14. The chef made a stirring speech.
  15. Do Freemasons preserve food in jars?
  16. Did the farmer eat a Reuben Sandwich? And did he have a beef with his meal?
  17. Are you cool to joke about refrigerators and freezers?
  18. The egocentric literary oyster was shellfish.  (Is this joke a pearl of wisdom or just an irritant?)
  19. Is a diner in Athens a greasy spoon?
  20. The food thief pulled off a caper.

Beverages and Liquids Puns   1 comment

  1. Does one have to pass the bar exam to serve a martini?
  2. Those who do not pick up the coffee they ordered have no grounds for complaining.
  3. One fish to another:  “Water you doing?”
  4. The Prohibition activists with a good sense of humor had a dry wit.
  5. A torso-covering garment bearing an image of a small bag containing leaves is a tea shirt.
  6. I am in urnest about my favorite teas.

Vegetables Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The vegetarian pursuer was a stalker.
  2. Here is a bilingual pun, one dependent upon knowledge of the French term for “green beans”:  Green beans are my favorite vegetable; this is very true.  If I am fortunate that this fact has never led to a hairy situation.
  3. Is an Eastern European who likes lettuce a Romanian?
  4. Is an immature carrot a carotene?
  5. One cannot go far afield stalking corn.  Oh, dear reader, please give ear to this pun.  Go ahead, the joke is not that bad.
  6. Can you asparagus a dime?
  7. Happy New Ear!  Is this joke too corny?  Does telling it too many times give one a husky voice?

Engineering and Science Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The cranky meteorologist had stormy relationships.
  2. Nuclear power plant employees must have that CANDU attitude.
  3. When Louis was a young his mother said that he should retire at a proper hour, or else he would stay up “Pasteur bedtime.”
  4. If a group of people talks about solar power, is that a panel discussion?
  5. The bottle went to the hospital for plastic surgery.
  6. Satellites do not weigh much.

Mathematics Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Complementary angles speak highly of each other.
  2. I am not inclined to eat plain yogurt.
  3. I don’t Noah how many arcs form a circle.
  4. The mathematician who had broken rules had committed an infraction.
  5. There were seven mathematicians in a room.  They were odd people.
  6. The mathematician who did the best work in bursts of seven days was in his prime; he was not a weekling.


This is post #2050 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.


Pets and Wildlife Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The pig farmer was so impoverished that he could not purchase good signage; he could, however, afford a porcine.
  2. A nun’s pet is a creature of habit.
  3. The deceptive frog was an amfibian.  And it was nobody’s toady.  Should I ponder more jokes?
  4. Happy Gnu Year!
  5. A balding bee uses a combover.
  6. I gopher puns.
  7. The British rabbit was very hoppy.
  8. Do dogs visit retail outlets?  Did some wag think of this pun?
  9. When one buys a rabbit from a pet store, does one get a warranty?
  10. Is an Italian marine mammal on a bulwark a walrus from Tuscany?
  11. I could keep fawning over you, my deer, if I doe say so myself.  And, with you by my side, I will never have to go stag again.
  12. The false charges against the aquatic mammal were otterly preposterous.
  13. I do not know atoll what to think about coral islands.
  14. If a bear is on a large obstacle, is that obstacle by definition a barricade?
  15. If one annoys an arachnid, does one have a cross tick?
  16. Is a Portuguese bovine in China Macao?  I wonder how much I can milk this thought before I begin to tell udderly bad jokes.  Is this joke dairy good or dairy bad?  Does it moove you?

Dessert Puns   2 comments

  1. Although some cherries are cordial, others are rude.
  2. I ate 3.14 pieces of pie.
  3. What does one get when one eats jelly at an intersection?  A traffic jam!
  4. Desserts had become too expensive, so many people began to lobby for torte reform.  But those who scoffed at this effort retorted.
  5. The angry pie maker meringued people on a regular basis.  Does this pun egg you on? Do you feel on top of things because you have read it?
  6. Does a rhesus monkey like Reece’s Pieces?
  7. The complimentary dessert at the luxury hotel was the pudding on the Ritz.

Literature and Fiction Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Edgar Allan liked the poboy sandwiches from the New Delhi.
  2. Is an accountant who writes for a newspaper a columnist?
  3. Many poems about love and marriage include couplets.
  4. A plot to pronounce or write words that sound alike is a rhyming scheme.
  5. The misuse of punctuation marks is a common mistake.
  6. The author of turgid prose who avoided all grapes had neither rhyme nor raisins.
  7. The removal of part of a man’s intestines left him with a semicolon.
  8. The person from the county Serif’s Department was a font of wisdom.  This is just my favorite type of joke.  I wonder if more people will like it, given the write sales pitch.
  9. The anxious grammarian was quite tense.  Perhaps this joke is imperfect, but my best puns lie in the future, not the past.  This statement is not conditional.
  10. Santa Claus arrived in the nick of time.

Sheep Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I flock to puns about sheep.  Do ewe?
  2. Is a pitcher a sheep uses called a ewer?