Archive for the ‘Puns–Geography’ Category
- The musician played the piano softly. The pianist with too much time became keyboard.
- Singing in the church choir is a lofty ambition. (Do my jokes need better direction?)
- The musically inclined fish visited the choral reef.
- Is church music on a rogation Sunday organ-ic? Should I have piped up?
- The group of musically inclined wood workers called itself the Carpenters. (They were on top of the world.)
- I am partial to choral music. You may ask, “On what basses?” I do not like the tenor of such a conversation. But, whatever, you do, refrain from calling the Sopranos or going to Palo Alto.
- Singing more softly or loudly makes a song dynamic.
- The instrumentalist had bass boards in his home. (Is this joke so bad that it is almost as low as I can go? Does it register?)
- Anthems are an acquired taste. Does this joke strike a chord with you? Was it noteworthy?
- If a window were to sing to me, it would be Beverly Sills.
- A semi-aquatic marine mammal that plays an instrument is a harp seal.
- The grocer must be a good musician, for he is never out of tuna.
- I paid for my meal at a restaurant in Amsterdam. I went Dutch.
- A C.P.A. reviewed restaurants on the side. He panned the cuisine at one establishment, writing, “There’s no accounting for taste.”
- The food critic panned the chef’s cooking, saying that it had gone to pot. The chef, who could not handle this criticism, boiled over with rage.
- Do Dutch-born Canadians use hollandaise sauce?
- Russian food out of a can is Chef Boyardee.
- You have great skillet cooking.
- St. Polycarp had many fish.
- Rare meat is hard to find. (I hope that you, O reader, will compliment me on this pun by saying, “Well done,” in one medium or another.)
- Whenever I Taiwan to eat Turkey Chile, I use my China. Fortunately, there is little Greece and I do not have to go Dutch.
- The ill condiment went to the mayo clinic.
- Does eating a doughnut make one holier?
- Olive to tell jokes about pizza toppings.
- The theatrical chef engaged in roll playing.
- The chef made a stirring speech.
- Do Freemasons preserve food in jars?
- Did the farmer eat a Reuben Sandwich? And did he have a beef with his meal?
- Are you cool to joke about refrigerators and freezers?
- The egocentric literary oyster was shellfish. (Is this joke a pearl of wisdom or just an irritant?)
- Is a diner in Athens a greasy spoon?
- The food thief pulled off a caper.
- The vegetarian pursuer was a stalker.
- Here is a bilingual pun, one dependent upon knowledge of the French term for “green beans”: Green beans are my favorite vegetable; this is very true. If I am fortunate that this fact has never led to a hairy situation.
- Is an Eastern European who likes lettuce a Romanian?
- Is an immature carrot a carotene?
- One cannot go far afield stalking corn. Oh, dear reader, please give ear to this pun. Go ahead, the joke is not that bad.
- Can you asparagus a dime?
- Happy New Ear! Is this joke too corny? Does telling it too many times give one a husky voice?
- Are Uganda Belize it? Taiwan Macao Togo to Czech out a Réunion. I would never Dane to tell you I’m Ghana stop Jamaican these jokes, that I’m Finnished telling these Laosy puns. There’s Norway I would ever stoop Oslo as to do that. Perhaps Taipei for my jokes, though. Formosa my life, I’ve told puns. Some people have been Swede enough to enjoy them.
- The farmer who wandered around his farm went far afield.
- The lake without a walkway was pierless.
- I will get around to studying a globe.
- The young man found his sense of direction when he became a cartographer. He found that his future was mapped out for him.
- To move about, but not forward or backward, is to sidewalk.
- The newborn South African had a Natal day.
- Deceased and disgruntled South Africans of Dutch ancestry are Boers.
- An Eastern European who carries his nation’s banner is a flag Pole.
- In Kiev Ukraine your neck.
- A postal employee in Prague fell among packages. The Czech was in the mail.
- If one uses up one’s photo card in Helsinki, is this situation a photo finish?
- A messy Eastern European is slovenly.
- The practical person (not a Bohemian, artistic type) was Praguematic. Czech out my jokes, which are Central to my European-themed witticisms.
- Italy is a great nation to boot. (Am I a heel for saying this?)
- The two Scandinavian lovers were Swede hearts. I would tell a similar joke about Norwegians, but that is Oslo as I will go. And I will not Dane to say anything about lovers in Copenhagen. I am Finnished now.
- I am done speaking Finnish. Do you Lapp up these jokes?
- How best to use a candle in Switzerland is a burning question.
- What does an upset married German woman do? She frauns. Is this madame worst joke ever?
- The Scottish person felt Pict on.
- Jokes about ceilings always go over my head.
- The electrician who was also a physicist experimented with fusion.
- The Minoan criminal was a concrete.
- Frank Lloyd set things Wright.
- More people were becoming fascinated by the construction project at the bank. Interest was building.
- The tourist got an eyeful in Paris.
- Moving from a single-story house to a two-story house is a real step up. (I could just stare at the steps.)
- Breaking windows can be painful.
- I shudder to think about windows.
- Did young Abraham find playing with Lincoln Logs to be a useful way of coping with cabin fever?
- Do people who write puns about noses have good old factory senses?
- The pig farmer was so impoverished that he could not purchase good signage; he could, however, afford a porcine.
- A nun’s pet is a creature of habit.
- The deceptive frog was an amfibian. And it was nobody’s toady. Should I ponder more jokes?
- Happy Gnu Year!
- A balding bee uses a combover.
- I gopher puns.
- The British rabbit was very hoppy.
- Do dogs visit retail outlets? Did some wag think of this pun?
- When one buys a rabbit from a pet store, does one get a warranty?
- Is an Italian marine mammal on a bulwark a walrus from Tuscany?
- I could keep fawning over you, my deer, if I doe say so myself. And, with you by my side, I will never have to go stag again.
- The false charges against the aquatic mammal were otterly preposterous.
- I do not know atoll what to think about coral islands.
- If a bear is on a large obstacle, is that obstacle by definition a barricade?
- If one annoys an arachnid, does one have a cross tick?
- Is a Portuguese bovine in China Macao? I wonder how much I can milk this thought before I begin to tell udderly bad jokes. Is this joke dairy good or dairy bad? Does it moove you?
- Edgar Allan liked the poboy sandwiches from the New Delhi.
- Is an accountant who writes for a newspaper a columnist?
- Many poems about love and marriage include couplets.
- A plot to pronounce or write words that sound alike is a rhyming scheme.
- The misuse of punctuation marks is a common mistake.
- The author of turgid prose who avoided all grapes had neither rhyme nor raisins.
- The removal of part of a man’s intestines left him with a semicolon.
- The person from the county Serif’s Department was a font of wisdom. This is just my favorite type of joke. I wonder if more people will like it, given the write sales pitch.
- The anxious grammarian was quite tense. Perhaps this joke is imperfect, but my best puns lie in the future, not the past. This statement is not conditional.
- Santa Claus arrived in the nick of time.
- Hamlet daned to speak to Ophelia.
- Lady Macbeth did not get away Scot free.
- Am I bard from telling bad puns about William Shakespeare and his characters?
- The dirty playwright had to clean up his act.
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