1. The musician played the piano softly.  The pianist with too much time became keyboard.
2. Singing in the church choir is a lofty ambition.  (Do my jokes need better direction?)
3. The musically inclined fish visited the choral reef.
4. Is church music on a rogation Sunday organ-ic?  Should I have piped up?
5. The group of musically inclined wood workers called itself the Carpenters.  (They were on top of the world.)
6. I am partial to choral music.   You may ask, “On what basses?”  I do not like the tenor of such a conversation.  But, whatever, you do, refrain from calling the Sopranos or going to Palo Alto.
7. Singing more softly or loudly makes a song dynamic.
8. The instrumentalist had bass boards in his home.  (Is this joke so bad that it is almost as low as I can go?  Does it register?)
9. Anthems are an acquired taste.  Does this joke strike a chord with you?  Was it noteworthy?
10. If a window were to sing to me, it would be Beverly Sills.
11. A semi-aquatic marine mammal that plays an instrument is a harp seal.
12. The grocer must be a good musician, for he is never out of tuna.

1. I paid for my meal at a restaurant in Amsterdam.  I went Dutch.
2. A C.P.A. reviewed restaurants on the side.  He panned the cuisine at one establishment, writing, “There’s no accounting for taste.”
3. The food critic panned the chef’s cooking, saying that it had gone to pot.  The chef, who could not handle this criticism, boiled over with rage.
4. Do Dutch-born Canadians use hollandaise sauce?
5. Russian food out of a can is Chef Boyardee.
6. You have great skillet cooking.
7. St. Polycarp had many fish.
8. Rare meat is hard to find.  (I hope that you, O reader, will compliment me on this pun by saying, “Well done,” in one medium or another.)
9. Whenever I Taiwan to eat Turkey Chile, I use my China.  Fortunately, there is little Greece and I do not have to go Dutch.
10. The ill condiment went to the mayo clinic.
11. Does eating a doughnut make one holier?
12. Olive to tell jokes about pizza toppings.
13. The theatrical chef engaged in roll playing.
14. The chef made a stirring speech.
15. Do Freemasons preserve food in jars?
16. Did the farmer eat a Reuben Sandwich? And did he have a beef with his meal?
17. Are you cool to joke about refrigerators and freezers?
18. The egocentric literary oyster was shellfish.  (Is this joke a pearl of wisdom or just an irritant?)
19. Is a diner in Athens a greasy spoon?
20. The food thief pulled off a caper.

1. Complementary angles speak highly of each other.
2. I am not inclined to eat plain yogurt.
3. I don’t Noah how many arcs form a circle.
4. The mathematician who had broken rules had committed an infraction.
5. There were seven mathematicians in a room.  They were odd people.
6. The mathematician who did the best work in bursts of seven days was in his prime; he was not a weekling.

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This is post #2050 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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1. The pig farmer was so impoverished that he could not purchase good signage; he could, however, afford a porcine.
2. A nun’s pet is a creature of habit.
3. The deceptive frog was an amfibian.  And it was nobody’s toady.  Should I ponder more jokes?
4. Happy Gnu Year!
5. A balding bee uses a combover.
6. I gopher puns.
7. The British rabbit was very hoppy.
8. Do dogs visit retail outlets?  Did some wag think of this pun?
9. When one buys a rabbit from a pet store, does one get a warranty?
10. Is an Italian marine mammal on a bulwark a walrus from Tuscany?
11. I could keep fawning over you, my deer, if I doe say so myself.  And, with you by my side, I will never have to go stag again.
12. The false charges against the aquatic mammal were otterly preposterous.
13. I do not know atoll what to think about coral islands.
14. If a bear is on a large obstacle, is that obstacle by definition a barricade?
15. If one annoys an arachnid, does one have a cross tick?
16. Is a Portuguese bovine in China Macao?  I wonder how much I can milk this thought before I begin to tell udderly bad jokes.  Is this joke dairy good or dairy bad?  Does it moove you?

1. I would pun about trees but that would require me to branch out or go out on a limb.  So I will leaf that option alone, and not fall for it.
2. Vegetables will inevitably turnip.  I mustard the courage to publish this post.
3. The evasive lawn care worker beat around the bush.
4. If there were a disco song about flowers, it would be Stamen Alive.  I must be a pistil for sharing that pun.
5. A Christmas tree can spruce up one’s home.
6. Should I liken a lichen to algae?
7. People are wise to distinguish among varieties of sage plants.
8. Jokes about eyes are cornea than other humorous statements.
9. One bee accused another bee of using flowery language.
10. Pulling up weeds is a garden-variety task.
11. I was trying to extol the virtues of a soothing and fragrant ointment, but somebody interrupted me, saying, “Don’t rub it in.”
12. I pine for cones.
13. The happy gardener said, “Hosanna!”
14. One who functions as a sentry of different plants is guardin’ variety.
15. The florist who drove quickly put the petal to the metal.  He did not stamen put.

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This is post #2020 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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1. Canine theologians specialize in dogma.
2. A priest’s favorite vegetables are collard greens.
3. Is an unmarried Lutheran a Single Predestinarian?
4. A minister or priest who presides over a meeting is a chairparson.
5. Light bulbs are fixtures of puns based on Enlightenment philosophy.
6. Was the cosmetologist with unorthodox views a heretic?
7. Do Christian athletes wear Paracletes?

1. Is it proper to tell puns on Sundays during Ordinary Time?
2. Most of December is an Advent-ageous time.
3. Priests engage in mass production.
4. The rabbi said, “Shofar, so good.”
5. The cloth on the high altar was not dark.  No, it was a fair linen.
6. “Mark my words”, Matthew said to John, you should not lose the Gospel Book.  Then you will have to Luke for it.”
7. Labyrinths are amazing.  Perhaps I should Chartres a new course after repeating that pun.
8. “It doesn’t mitre,” the bishop said.

1. Amelia was delayed.  Yes, she was a late Bloomer.
2. A Medieval knight’s last name was his sir name.
3. Russian Revolutionaries washed their linens.
4. We know that Catherine the Great was German, not Russian, because she wasn’t in a hurry.
5. Kant you imagine how I thought of this pun, given the volume of material at my Plato?  I had to be a Realist about the matter, though, not letting the details of philosophy become Greek to me.
6. I went Russian off to read about czars.  Ural be glad I did.
7. The wandering czar went Romanov.
8. The cherry tree George Washington cut down was presidential timber.
9. Are you linkin’ Abraham Lincoln to Presidents Day?
10. Was William of Orange fond of citrus products?
11. Visiting Mount Rushmore can be a heady experience, one requiring an executive decision.
12. The honest Merovingian was just being Frank(ish).
13. If one finds a Roman coin in New Orleans, does one have a Latin Quarter?
14. The newly-minted knight received his sir-tificate.
15. Was the son of King Edward IV a new York?
16. Are jokes about philosophers punderous?  Kant I tell that joke quite predictably?
17. A monkey who stands on a pillar for 37 years is St. Simian Stylites.
18. I suppose that Reinhold was a good Niebuhr to those who lived around him.
19. Boaz was ruthless before he met his wife.
20. If I were to recount an incident from early in the life of Origen (185-254), would I tell an Origen story?
21. Is a Roman Catholic collector of large and heavy books a Tome-ist?
22. Immanuel Kant take a stroll at the time each day, can he?  And might he not rue the decision to walk the same streets again and again?
23. Was the theologian who experienced an existential crisis a Doubting Thomist?
24. Did John lock the door then begin writing on his blank slate?
25. There is only one Messiah, but there are scores.  (Can you Handel this joke?)
26. Did Voltaire enjoy eating Candide yams?
27. How does a philosopher buy a car?  He Hegels.  I Kant stop telling these puns.  Perhaps I will need help to Sartre myself out.  Maybe I have too much on my Plato.  Or is that Realistic?
28. A Turkish social networking website is called Fezbook, and that is no Istanbul.  (Are bad jokes a Constantinople on this blog?  If they are, there is no good reason to continue Sultan over that fact.)
29. The historical account of facial hair was a Beardian analysis.

1. I listened to the recording of river sounds via streaming audio.
2. Puns about mountains indicate an elevated sense–the pinnacle, in fact–of humor.
3. Do you lava volcanoes?
4. Is a group of islands named for Noah an archipelago?
5. The geologist joined a rock group.
6. Do not take jokes about rock formations for granite.
7. Was the obscure ore hunter a minor miner?
8. The resentful mountain climber had a fit of pique.
9. Two experts in plate tectonics argued about personal issues.  Each thought that the other was at fault.

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This is post #2000 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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1. One must have a warped sense of humor to crack a joke about a starship’s nacelles.
2. Is a man who brawls while wearing a cravat a tie fighter?  Did I force this pun?
3. Was Percy Montana predestined to be on the Tulip?
4. It would behoove you to watch more Doctor Who and therefore be more enterprising.  You might even decide to embark on a great trek.  That would certainly be the logical decision.
5. A Jedi knight who conducts music is Obi-Wand Kenobi.
6. Every seven years a Vulcan must travel a great distance to tell double entendres.  This is the pun farr.
7. Watching old episodes of Doctor Who makes me crave cereals.
8. Is a picture of Mira Furlan a Mira image?
9. Is a drink favored by a Ferengi junior officer in Starfleet egg nog?
10. If H. G. Wells had written a novel about herbs, might he have called it The Thyme Machine?