Archive for the ‘Carpenters’ Tag

Music Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The musician played the piano softly.  The pianist with too much time became keyboard.
  2. Singing in the church choir is a lofty ambition.  (Do my jokes need better direction?)
  3. The musically inclined fish visited the choral reef.
  4. Is church music on a rogation Sunday organ-ic?  Should I have piped up?
  5. The group of musically inclined wood workers called itself the Carpenters.  (They were on top of the world.)
  6. I am partial to choral music.   You may ask, “On what basses?”  I do not like the tenor of such a conversation.  But, whatever, you do, refrain from calling the Sopranos or going to Palo Alto.
  7. Singing more softly or loudly makes a song dynamic.
  8. The instrumentalist had bass boards in his home.  (Is this joke so bad that it is almost as low as I can go?  Does it register?)
  9. Anthems are an acquired taste.  Does this joke strike a chord with you?  Was it noteworthy?
  10. If a window were to sing to me, it would be Beverly Sills.
  11. A semi-aquatic marine mammal that plays an instrument is a harp seal.
  12. The grocer must be a good musician, for he is never out of tuna.

Chores and Tools Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Ironing is a pressing matter.
  2. Are a plumber’s fantasies pipe dreams?  Is the quality of my jokes plunging?
  3. The fence post installer felt holier-than-thou.
  4. I became upset over the poor performance of the air conditioning system, so I vented.
  5. The fence builder kept me posted.
  6. People familiar with power tools know the drill.
  7. The yard worker who gambled too much had rakish ways.
  8. A self-evident saying about a chopping tool is an axiom.
  9. The accomplished fence builder was a postmaster.
  10. If one drops a saucer into dishwater, does displacement occur?
  11. I wood say that the carpenter nailed it.  (Brace yourselves; I never grow board of these puns!)  Should I frame the issue differently?
  12. The impending weaving work was looming.
  13. Would an early repair be a prefix?
  14. “When the substance that holds tiles together begins to smell like cabbage,” Reuben said, “one has sour grout.”