Archive for the ‘Furniture’ Tag

Chemistry Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The political chemist was a free radical.
  2. A few weeks ago, a friend handed me a folded sheet of paper.  The outside read, “Are jokes about sodium funny?”  I opened the paper to read the answer, “Na.”  It was an elemental joke, one which a person might tell periodically.  The joke has the benefit of being not quite salty.  And, if one dislikes the joke, one can table it.

Literature and Fiction Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Edgar Allan liked the poboy sandwiches from the New Delhi.
  2. Is an accountant who writes for a newspaper a columnist?
  3. Many poems about love and marriage include couplets.
  4. A plot to pronounce or write words that sound alike is a rhyming scheme.
  5. The misuse of punctuation marks is a common mistake.
  6. The author of turgid prose who avoided all grapes had neither rhyme nor raisins.
  7. The removal of part of a man’s intestines left him with a semicolon.
  8. The person from the county Serif’s Department was a font of wisdom.  This is just my favorite type of joke.  I wonder if more people will like it, given the write sales pitch.
  9. The anxious grammarian was quite tense.  Perhaps this joke is imperfect, but my best puns lie in the future, not the past.  This statement is not conditional.
  10. Santa Claus arrived in the nick of time.

Furniture and Office Equipment and Supplies Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The lamp salesman had a shady past.
  2. People who sharpen pencils often know how to get to the point.  They have the write stuff.
  3. Is an open-source website about candles called Wick-ipedia?
  4. A fee for looking at a page is paperview.
  5. An item that shines in the darkness and weighs little is a light bulb.
  6. The revolutionary Russians with too few cutting tools had a scissors crisis.  Maybe they needed a new economic policy to deal with it–or maybe not.  (How is that for a historical pun?)
  7. Using push pins to hang a poster can be really tacky.  (Was that a pointed comment?  Is my sense of humor sharp?)
  8. Light bulb covers are fixtures in many buildings.
  9. Is a person in charge of the manufacture of desks a bureau chief?
  10. The Turkish businessman who owned a large business which manufactured and sold footstools had an Ottoman Empire.
  11. Must I couch jokes about sofas in certain terms?  I could, I suppose, pun about chairs, but then I would be a lazy boy.
  12. Were the bookcases in the nuclear scientist’s office made of particle board?  Should I have shelved this joke?
  13. If the inventor of the telephone had been a woman from the Old South, the telephone would have been the invention of a Southern belle.
  14. Bees can use just one key on a keyboard, for they have Type-A personalities.
  15. If I decide to purchase certain office supplies individually, how much should I pay per clip?
  16. The friendly writing instruments were pen pals.

Philosophical and Theological Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Canine theologians specialize in dogma.
  2. A priest’s favorite vegetables are collard greens.
  3. Is an unmarried Lutheran a Single Predestinarian?
  4. A minister or priest who presides over a meeting is a chairparson.
  5. Light bulbs are fixtures of puns based on Enlightenment philosophy.
  6. Was the cosmetologist with unorthodox views a heretic?
  7. Do Christian athletes wear Paracletes?

Movie and Television Puns   2 comments

  1. An excellent public television science program is a supernova.
  2. Joe Friday’s tech tip:  “Just the fax, ma’am.”
  3. An Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins movie about food is The Romaines of the Day.  Lettuce watch it.
  4. The emotional movie involving a maple tree was too sappy.
  5. Did Mr. Brynner burn yule logs?
  6. Did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer have a bulbous nose?  (It received glowing reviews.)
  7. The poorly-made movie about dairy products was very cheesy.
  8. The incompetent Smurf blue it.
  9. Groucho was a great Marxman.
  10. Films with certain dairy products in them are scary, for they are muenster movies.
  11. As I walked past Ponderosa Drive in Athens, Georgia, I wondered if some treasure might be near.  If so, it would be quite a Bonanza.  But I should be cautious; I ought not to put my Cartwright before the horse.
  12. The monster ate too many fright foods.
  13. If the Three Stooges had been bees, they would have been Larva, Curly, and Moe.
  14. I was a Hunter for candy bars, so I chose a Whatchamallit.
  15. What was Dean Martin’s favorite kind of meat?  A roast!