Archive for the ‘Insects’ Tag

Pets and Wildlife Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The pig farmer was so impoverished that he could not purchase good signage; he could, however, afford a porcine.
  2. A nun’s pet is a creature of habit.
  3. The deceptive frog was an amfibian.  And it was nobody’s toady.  Should I ponder more jokes?
  4. Happy Gnu Year!
  5. A balding bee uses a combover.
  6. I gopher puns.
  7. The British rabbit was very hoppy.
  8. Do dogs visit retail outlets?  Did some wag think of this pun?
  9. When one buys a rabbit from a pet store, does one get a warranty?
  10. Is an Italian marine mammal on a bulwark a walrus from Tuscany?
  11. I could keep fawning over you, my deer, if I doe say so myself.  And, with you by my side, I will never have to go stag again.
  12. The false charges against the aquatic mammal were otterly preposterous.
  13. I do not know atoll what to think about coral islands.
  14. If a bear is on a large obstacle, is that obstacle by definition a barricade?
  15. If one annoys an arachnid, does one have a cross tick?
  16. Is a Portuguese bovine in China Macao?  I wonder how much I can milk this thought before I begin to tell udderly bad jokes.  Is this joke dairy good or dairy bad?  Does it moove you?

Furniture and Office Equipment and Supplies Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The lamp salesman had a shady past.
  2. People who sharpen pencils often know how to get to the point.  They have the write stuff.
  3. Is an open-source website about candles called Wick-ipedia?
  4. A fee for looking at a page is paperview.
  5. An item that shines in the darkness and weighs little is a light bulb.
  6. The revolutionary Russians with too few cutting tools had a scissors crisis.  Maybe they needed a new economic policy to deal with it–or maybe not.  (How is that for a historical pun?)
  7. Using push pins to hang a poster can be really tacky.  (Was that a pointed comment?  Is my sense of humor sharp?)
  8. Light bulb covers are fixtures in many buildings.
  9. Is a person in charge of the manufacture of desks a bureau chief?
  10. The Turkish businessman who owned a large business which manufactured and sold footstools had an Ottoman Empire.
  11. Must I couch jokes about sofas in certain terms?  I could, I suppose, pun about chairs, but then I would be a lazy boy.
  12. Were the bookcases in the nuclear scientist’s office made of particle board?  Should I have shelved this joke?
  13. If the inventor of the telephone had been a woman from the Old South, the telephone would have been the invention of a Southern belle.
  14. Bees can use just one key on a keyboard, for they have Type-A personalities.
  15. If I decide to purchase certain office supplies individually, how much should I pay per clip?
  16. The friendly writing instruments were pen pals.

Movie and Television Puns   2 comments

  1. An excellent public television science program is a supernova.
  2. Joe Friday’s tech tip:  “Just the fax, ma’am.”
  3. An Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins movie about food is The Romaines of the Day.  Lettuce watch it.
  4. The emotional movie involving a maple tree was too sappy.
  5. Did Mr. Brynner burn yule logs?
  6. Did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer have a bulbous nose?  (It received glowing reviews.)
  7. The poorly-made movie about dairy products was very cheesy.
  8. The incompetent Smurf blue it.
  9. Groucho was a great Marxman.
  10. Films with certain dairy products in them are scary, for they are muenster movies.
  11. As I walked past Ponderosa Drive in Athens, Georgia, I wondered if some treasure might be near.  If so, it would be quite a Bonanza.  But I should be cautious; I ought not to put my Cartwright before the horse.
  12. The monster ate too many fright foods.
  13. If the Three Stooges had been bees, they would have been Larva, Curly, and Moe.
  14. I was a Hunter for candy bars, so I chose a Whatchamallit.
  15. What was Dean Martin’s favorite kind of meat?  A roast!