Archive for the ‘Literature’ Tag

Microbiology Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Does one amoeba speak to another amoeba via cellular phone?
  2. The microbiologist who read Shakespearean plays was cultured.

Theater Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Hamlet daned to speak to Ophelia.
  2. Lady Macbeth did not get away Scot free.
  3. Am I bard from telling bad puns about William Shakespeare and his characters?
  4. The dirty playwright had to clean up his act.

Novel Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Dashiell had difficulty not trying to Hammett up.
  2. The Communist novelist was well read.
  3. A new work of fiction is a novel idea.
  4. Did Theodore Dreiser let music Carrie him away?
  5. If Jane were a spy, would she be Austen Powers?

Chores and Tools Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Ironing is a pressing matter.
  2. Are a plumber’s fantasies pipe dreams?  Is the quality of my jokes plunging?
  3. The fence post installer felt holier-than-thou.
  4. I became upset over the poor performance of the air conditioning system, so I vented.
  5. The fence builder kept me posted.
  6. People familiar with power tools know the drill.
  7. The yard worker who gambled too much had rakish ways.
  8. A self-evident saying about a chopping tool is an axiom.
  9. The accomplished fence builder was a postmaster.
  10. If one drops a saucer into dishwater, does displacement occur?
  11. I wood say that the carpenter nailed it.  (Brace yourselves; I never grow board of these puns!)  Should I frame the issue differently?
  12. The impending weaving work was looming.
  13. Would an early repair be a prefix?
  14. “When the substance that holds tiles together begins to smell like cabbage,” Reuben said, “one has sour grout.”

Movie and Television Puns   2 comments

  1. An excellent public television science program is a supernova.
  2. Joe Friday’s tech tip:  “Just the fax, ma’am.”
  3. An Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins movie about food is The Romaines of the Day.  Lettuce watch it.
  4. The emotional movie involving a maple tree was too sappy.
  5. Did Mr. Brynner burn yule logs?
  6. Did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer have a bulbous nose?  (It received glowing reviews.)
  7. The poorly-made movie about dairy products was very cheesy.
  8. The incompetent Smurf blue it.
  9. Groucho was a great Marxman.
  10. Films with certain dairy products in them are scary, for they are muenster movies.
  11. As I walked past Ponderosa Drive in Athens, Georgia, I wondered if some treasure might be near.  If so, it would be quite a Bonanza.  But I should be cautious; I ought not to put my Cartwright before the horse.
  12. The monster ate too many fright foods.
  13. If the Three Stooges had been bees, they would have been Larva, Curly, and Moe.
  14. I was a Hunter for candy bars, so I chose a Whatchamallit.
  15. What was Dean Martin’s favorite kind of meat?  A roast!

History Puns   4 comments

  1. Amelia was delayed.  Yes, she was a late Bloomer.
  2. A Medieval knight’s last name was his sir name.
  3. Russian Revolutionaries washed their linens.
  4. We know that Catherine the Great was German, not Russian, because she wasn’t in a hurry.
  5. Kant you imagine how I thought of this pun, given the volume of material at my Plato?  I had to be a Realist about the matter, though, not letting the details of philosophy become Greek to me.
  6. I went Russian off to read about czars.  Ural be glad I did.
  7. The wandering czar went Romanov.
  8. The cherry tree George Washington cut down was presidential timber.
  9. Are you linkin’ Abraham Lincoln to Presidents Day?
  10. Was William of Orange fond of citrus products?
  11. Visiting Mount Rushmore can be a heady experience, one requiring an executive decision.
  12. The honest Merovingian was just being Frank(ish).
  13. If one finds a Roman coin in New Orleans, does one have a Latin Quarter?
  14. The newly-minted knight received his sir-tificate.
  15. Was the son of King Edward IV a new York?
  16. Are jokes about philosophers punderous?  Kant I tell that joke quite predictably?
  17. A monkey who stands on a pillar for 37 years is St. Simian Stylites.
  18. I suppose that Reinhold was a good Niebuhr to those who lived around him.
  19. Boaz was ruthless before he met his wife.
  20. If I were to recount an incident from early in the life of Origen (185-254), would I tell an Origen story?
  21. Is a Roman Catholic collector of large and heavy books a Tome-ist?
  22. Immanuel Kant take a stroll at the time each day, can he?  And might he not rue the decision to walk the same streets again and again?
  23. Was the theologian who experienced an existential crisis a Doubting Thomist?
  24. Did John lock the door then begin writing on his blank slate?
  25. There is only one Messiah, but there are scores.  (Can you Handel this joke?)
  26. Did Voltaire enjoy eating Candide yams?
  27. How does a philosopher buy a car?  He Hegels.  I Kant stop telling these puns.  Perhaps I will need help to Sartre myself out.  Maybe I have too much on my Plato.  Or is that Realistic?
  28. A Turkish social networking website is called Fezbook, and that is no Istanbul.  (Are bad jokes a Constantinople on this blog?  If they are, there is no good reason to continue Sultan over that fact.)
  29. The historical account of facial hair was a Beardian analysis.

Science Fiction Puns   3 comments

  1. One must have a warped sense of humor to crack a joke about a starship’s nacelles.
  2. Is a man who brawls while wearing a cravat a tie fighter?  Did I force this pun?
  3. Was Percy Montana predestined to be on the Tulip?
  4. It would behoove you to watch more Doctor Who and therefore be more enterprising.  You might even decide to embark on a great trek.  That would certainly be the logical decision.
  5. A Jedi knight who conducts music is Obi-Wand Kenobi.
  6. Every seven years a Vulcan must travel a great distance to tell double entendres.  This is the pun farr.
  7. Watching old episodes of Doctor Who makes me crave cereals.
  8. Is a picture of Mira Furlan a Mira image?
  9. Is a drink favored by a Ferengi junior officer in Starfleet egg nog?
  10. If H. G. Wells had written a novel about herbs, might he have called it The Thyme Machine?

Cat Puns   2 comments

  1. Don’t engage in lion about big cats.
  2. The feline mountain climber had excellent cat skills.
  3. Two cats met via purrsonal ads.
  4. The kitten’s antics gave his humans pause.
  5. When the cat stole the note, there was a case of a purrloined letter.  This joke might be in Poe taste, as Edgar Allan would say.