Archive for the ‘Medicine and Plants’ Tag

The Unpleasant Pharmacist   Leave a comment

What did people say to the unpleasant pharmacist?

“Stop being a pill!”

(I hope this pun is not difficult to swallow.)

Composer Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The space aliens who met Richard Strauss said, “Take me to your lieder.”
  2. Georges was not too Bizet to compose music.
  3. Music is Lisztless without Franz.
  4. A composer opens a small door with a minor key.
  5. The composer, who attended frequent staff meetings, took a measured approach to writing music.  I hope he was never in much treble.  If so, this would have been a major concern for him, for he might have been unduly notorious.
  6. Don’t be notorious.  Compose yourself and perform in the correct key.  This is a major issue, off the scale.
  7. I suppose that Beethoven wrote some drafts of compositions in notebooks.
  8. When Johann Sebastian attended a party, was it a Bachanalia?  Am I wining too much?  Is this a grape joke or not?
  9. Puns about Johann Sebastian Bach must Germanate.

Engineering and Science Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The cranky meteorologist had stormy relationships.
  2. Nuclear power plant employees must have that CANDU attitude.
  3. When Louis was a young his mother said that he should retire at a proper hour, or else he would stay up “Pasteur bedtime.”
  4. If a group of people talks about solar power, is that a panel discussion?
  5. The bottle went to the hospital for plastic surgery.
  6. Satellites do not weigh much.

Medicine and Plants Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I would pun about trees but that would require me to branch out or go out on a limb.  So I will leaf that option alone, and not fall for it.
  2. Vegetables will inevitably turnip.  I mustard the courage to publish this post.
  3. The evasive lawn care worker beat around the bush.
  4. If there were a disco song about flowers, it would be Stamen Alive.  I must be a pistil for sharing that pun.
  5. A Christmas tree can spruce up one’s home.
  6. Should I liken a lichen to algae?
  7. People are wise to distinguish among varieties of sage plants.
  8. Jokes about eyes are cornea than other humorous statements.
  9. One bee accused another bee of using flowery language.
  10. Pulling up weeds is a garden-variety task.
  11. I was trying to extol the virtues of a soothing and fragrant ointment, but somebody interrupted me, saying, “Don’t rub it in.”
  12. I pine for cones.
  13. The happy gardener said, “Hosanna!”
  14. One who functions as a sentry of different plants is guardin’ variety.
  15. The florist who drove quickly put the petal to the metal.  He did not stamen put.

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This is post #2020 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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Movie and Television Puns   2 comments

  1. An excellent public television science program is a supernova.
  2. Joe Friday’s tech tip:  “Just the fax, ma’am.”
  3. An Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins movie about food is The Romaines of the Day.  Lettuce watch it.
  4. The emotional movie involving a maple tree was too sappy.
  5. Did Mr. Brynner burn yule logs?
  6. Did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer have a bulbous nose?  (It received glowing reviews.)
  7. The poorly-made movie about dairy products was very cheesy.
  8. The incompetent Smurf blue it.
  9. Groucho was a great Marxman.
  10. Films with certain dairy products in them are scary, for they are muenster movies.
  11. As I walked past Ponderosa Drive in Athens, Georgia, I wondered if some treasure might be near.  If so, it would be quite a Bonanza.  But I should be cautious; I ought not to put my Cartwright before the horse.
  12. The monster ate too many fright foods.
  13. If the Three Stooges had been bees, they would have been Larva, Curly, and Moe.
  14. I was a Hunter for candy bars, so I chose a Whatchamallit.
  15. What was Dean Martin’s favorite kind of meat?  A roast!

History Puns   4 comments

  1. Amelia was delayed.  Yes, she was a late Bloomer.
  2. A Medieval knight’s last name was his sir name.
  3. Russian Revolutionaries washed their linens.
  4. We know that Catherine the Great was German, not Russian, because she wasn’t in a hurry.
  5. Kant you imagine how I thought of this pun, given the volume of material at my Plato?  I had to be a Realist about the matter, though, not letting the details of philosophy become Greek to me.
  6. I went Russian off to read about czars.  Ural be glad I did.
  7. The wandering czar went Romanov.
  8. The cherry tree George Washington cut down was presidential timber.
  9. Are you linkin’ Abraham Lincoln to Presidents Day?
  10. Was William of Orange fond of citrus products?
  11. Visiting Mount Rushmore can be a heady experience, one requiring an executive decision.
  12. The honest Merovingian was just being Frank(ish).
  13. If one finds a Roman coin in New Orleans, does one have a Latin Quarter?
  14. The newly-minted knight received his sir-tificate.
  15. Was the son of King Edward IV a new York?
  16. Are jokes about philosophers punderous?  Kant I tell that joke quite predictably?
  17. A monkey who stands on a pillar for 37 years is St. Simian Stylites.
  18. I suppose that Reinhold was a good Niebuhr to those who lived around him.
  19. Boaz was ruthless before he met his wife.
  20. If I were to recount an incident from early in the life of Origen (185-254), would I tell an Origen story?
  21. Is a Roman Catholic collector of large and heavy books a Tome-ist?
  22. Immanuel Kant take a stroll at the time each day, can he?  And might he not rue the decision to walk the same streets again and again?
  23. Was the theologian who experienced an existential crisis a Doubting Thomist?
  24. Did John lock the door then begin writing on his blank slate?
  25. There is only one Messiah, but there are scores.  (Can you Handel this joke?)
  26. Did Voltaire enjoy eating Candide yams?
  27. How does a philosopher buy a car?  He Hegels.  I Kant stop telling these puns.  Perhaps I will need help to Sartre myself out.  Maybe I have too much on my Plato.  Or is that Realistic?
  28. A Turkish social networking website is called Fezbook, and that is no Istanbul.  (Are bad jokes a Constantinople on this blog?  If they are, there is no good reason to continue Sultan over that fact.)
  29. The historical account of facial hair was a Beardian analysis.

Education Puns   Leave a comment

  1. Boring geometry teachers are really square.
  2. The well-educated artist was a collage graduate.
  3. When Tacitus wandered, he as a roamin’ historian.  I guess that a coin he may have used was a Latin Quarter.
  4. Are seminarians and students of optometry called pupils?
  5. Where do ghost teachers train?  Paranormal Schools!
  6. Where does a one-eyed man look up information?  An En-cyclop-edia!
  7. Did you hear the story about the stolen school books?  It was a textbook case.