Archive for the ‘Music’ Tag

Programming, Interrupting Commercials   Leave a comment

ADVERTISEMENTS, ASSAULTS UPON HUMAN DIGNITY

Once upon a time, when I had a head full of black hair and dinosaurs roamed the planet, I lived near Cordele, Georgia.  Cordele had a local, independent UHF television station.  I watched enough of that station’s output to realize that the shows interrupted the advertisements.  Even worse, most of these advertisements were, to be polite, homespun.

I have noticed the same issue becoming worse on YouTube in recent years.  The advertisements are not always well-produced either.  I enjoy certain YouTube channels.  One, in particular, consists of men exploring abandoned buildings and cemeteries in western Georgia and eastern Alabama.  I, being a student of history, enjoy old buildings and cemeteries.  Call me weird, if you choose, O reader.  The content is fascinating.  The irritating factor is that, every five minutes, an advertisement interrupts the video.

I used to listen to much music on YouTube.  I, being a Western classicist, am a natural music snob.  I attest that any genre of music that is neither classical nor jazz is inferior to them.  As I once said in reference to country music, it fits the technical definition of music.  And to quote Cynthia Tucker, of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, from some years ago,

Rappers would starve if they had to sing for their supper.

I may have insulted some sacred cows.  So be it.  (If I cannot express my opinions on my own weblogs, where can I express them?)  Anyhow, I used to listen to much music on YouTube.  I tired of advertisements interrupting sublimely beautiful music.

I can, of course, pay YouTube not to do this to me.  I refuse, on principle.  I refuse on the grounds that I should not have to pay people NOT to advertise to me.  The summary of my attitude toward 99.99 percent of advertising is,

Is it over yet?

Relentless advertising is an assault upon human dignity.  Your dignity, O reader, stems from you having a pulse and bearing the image of God.  So does my dignity.  My value–your value–is inherent; it has nothing to do with the ability and/or willingness to purchase or watch anything.

Here I stand.

KENNETH RANDOLPH TAYLOR

AUGUST 28, 2021 COMMON ERA

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Music Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The musician played the piano softly.  The pianist with too much time became keyboard.
  2. Singing in the church choir is a lofty ambition.  (Do my jokes need better direction?)
  3. The musically inclined fish visited the choral reef.
  4. Is church music on a rogation Sunday organ-ic?  Should I have piped up?
  5. The group of musically inclined wood workers called itself the Carpenters.  (They were on top of the world.)
  6. I am partial to choral music.   You may ask, “On what basses?”  I do not like the tenor of such a conversation.  But, whatever, you do, refrain from calling the Sopranos or going to Palo Alto.
  7. Singing more softly or loudly makes a song dynamic.
  8. The instrumentalist had bass boards in his home.  (Is this joke so bad that it is almost as low as I can go?  Does it register?)
  9. Anthems are an acquired taste.  Does this joke strike a chord with you?  Was it noteworthy?
  10. If a window were to sing to me, it would be Beverly Sills.
  11. A semi-aquatic marine mammal that plays an instrument is a harp seal.
  12. The grocer must be a good musician, for he is never out of tuna.

Composer Puns   Leave a comment

  1. The space aliens who met Richard Strauss said, “Take me to your lieder.”
  2. Georges was not too Bizet to compose music.
  3. Music is Lisztless without Franz.
  4. A composer opens a small door with a minor key.
  5. The composer, who attended frequent staff meetings, took a measured approach to writing music.  I hope he was never in much treble.  If so, this would have been a major concern for him, for he might have been unduly notorious.
  6. Don’t be notorious.  Compose yourself and perform in the correct key.  This is a major issue, off the scale.
  7. I suppose that Beethoven wrote some drafts of compositions in notebooks.
  8. When Johann Sebastian attended a party, was it a Bachanalia?  Am I wining too much?  Is this a grape joke or not?
  9. Puns about Johann Sebastian Bach must Germanate.

Medicine and Plants Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I would pun about trees but that would require me to branch out or go out on a limb.  So I will leaf that option alone, and not fall for it.
  2. Vegetables will inevitably turnip.  I mustard the courage to publish this post.
  3. The evasive lawn care worker beat around the bush.
  4. If there were a disco song about flowers, it would be Stamen Alive.  I must be a pistil for sharing that pun.
  5. A Christmas tree can spruce up one’s home.
  6. Should I liken a lichen to algae?
  7. People are wise to distinguish among varieties of sage plants.
  8. Jokes about eyes are cornea than other humorous statements.
  9. One bee accused another bee of using flowery language.
  10. Pulling up weeds is a garden-variety task.
  11. I was trying to extol the virtues of a soothing and fragrant ointment, but somebody interrupted me, saying, “Don’t rub it in.”
  12. I pine for cones.
  13. The happy gardener said, “Hosanna!”
  14. One who functions as a sentry of different plants is guardin’ variety.
  15. The florist who drove quickly put the petal to the metal.  He did not stamen put.

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This is post #2020 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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History Puns   4 comments

  1. Amelia was delayed.  Yes, she was a late Bloomer.
  2. A Medieval knight’s last name was his sir name.
  3. Russian Revolutionaries washed their linens.
  4. We know that Catherine the Great was German, not Russian, because she wasn’t in a hurry.
  5. Kant you imagine how I thought of this pun, given the volume of material at my Plato?  I had to be a Realist about the matter, though, not letting the details of philosophy become Greek to me.
  6. I went Russian off to read about czars.  Ural be glad I did.
  7. The wandering czar went Romanov.
  8. The cherry tree George Washington cut down was presidential timber.
  9. Are you linkin’ Abraham Lincoln to Presidents Day?
  10. Was William of Orange fond of citrus products?
  11. Visiting Mount Rushmore can be a heady experience, one requiring an executive decision.
  12. The honest Merovingian was just being Frank(ish).
  13. If one finds a Roman coin in New Orleans, does one have a Latin Quarter?
  14. The newly-minted knight received his sir-tificate.
  15. Was the son of King Edward IV a new York?
  16. Are jokes about philosophers punderous?  Kant I tell that joke quite predictably?
  17. A monkey who stands on a pillar for 37 years is St. Simian Stylites.
  18. I suppose that Reinhold was a good Niebuhr to those who lived around him.
  19. Boaz was ruthless before he met his wife.
  20. If I were to recount an incident from early in the life of Origen (185-254), would I tell an Origen story?
  21. Is a Roman Catholic collector of large and heavy books a Tome-ist?
  22. Immanuel Kant take a stroll at the time each day, can he?  And might he not rue the decision to walk the same streets again and again?
  23. Was the theologian who experienced an existential crisis a Doubting Thomist?
  24. Did John lock the door then begin writing on his blank slate?
  25. There is only one Messiah, but there are scores.  (Can you Handel this joke?)
  26. Did Voltaire enjoy eating Candide yams?
  27. How does a philosopher buy a car?  He Hegels.  I Kant stop telling these puns.  Perhaps I will need help to Sartre myself out.  Maybe I have too much on my Plato.  Or is that Realistic?
  28. A Turkish social networking website is called Fezbook, and that is no Istanbul.  (Are bad jokes a Constantinople on this blog?  If they are, there is no good reason to continue Sultan over that fact.)
  29. The historical account of facial hair was a Beardian analysis.

Geology Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I listened to the recording of river sounds via streaming audio.
  2. Puns about mountains indicate an elevated sense–the pinnacle, in fact–of humor.
  3. Do you lava volcanoes?
  4. Is a group of islands named for Noah an archipelago?
  5. The geologist joined a rock group.
  6. Do not take jokes about rock formations for granite.
  7. Was the obscure ore hunter a minor miner?
  8. The resentful mountain climber had a fit of pique.
  9. Two experts in plate tectonics argued about personal issues.  Each thought that the other was at fault.

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This is post #2000 of SUNDRY THOUGHTS.

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Science Fiction Puns   3 comments

  1. One must have a warped sense of humor to crack a joke about a starship’s nacelles.
  2. Is a man who brawls while wearing a cravat a tie fighter?  Did I force this pun?
  3. Was Percy Montana predestined to be on the Tulip?
  4. It would behoove you to watch more Doctor Who and therefore be more enterprising.  You might even decide to embark on a great trek.  That would certainly be the logical decision.
  5. A Jedi knight who conducts music is Obi-Wand Kenobi.
  6. Every seven years a Vulcan must travel a great distance to tell double entendres.  This is the pun farr.
  7. Watching old episodes of Doctor Who makes me crave cereals.
  8. Is a picture of Mira Furlan a Mira image?
  9. Is a drink favored by a Ferengi junior officer in Starfleet egg nog?
  10. If H. G. Wells had written a novel about herbs, might he have called it The Thyme Machine?

Nautical Puns   Leave a comment

  1. I had fleeting concerns about ships.
  2. Do not bow to the demands of the stern ship captain.
  3. The inexpensive sailboat was on sail.
  4. A sailor off whom a funny seaman bounces off jokes is a strait man.
  5. A game played on a yacht is yahtzee.
  6. The soprano who took a cruise had no difficulty hitting the high seas.
  7. The two German u-boats that became one u-boat submerged.
  8. The submariner who read scripture aloud was glad the submarine had a pericope.